Every Cell Phone I've Ever Owned (& Why I Regret It)

tomboymadi7
May 24, 2024
11 min read

Updated: Mar 29

Recently, I was watching DJ & producer Cray’s mini-series on TikTok, titled Cuntology 101. Her vibrant collection of vintage video game consoles and limited-edition tech releases gives a nostalgic view of some of the best systems the 2000s had to offer. The impressive catalog includes releases such as the 2006 Emerson SpongeBob television, a 2009 Hannah Montana PSP, a 2003 Bratz landline, and a classic 2004 hot pink Motorola Razr—Cray’s very own high school cell phone. With millions of views, Cuntology 101 serves as an open letter to corporations that charge a fortune for subpar systems and plain-looking products. As consumers, we are hopelessly declaring how “they just don’t make it as cunty as they used to” (and we’d be right to say so), but this has also led me to wonder if we truly understand the gravity of these demands and everything that comes along with them.

Inspired to relive some of the old memories of my past cell phones, what started out as a fun project ended up being an embarrassing rabbit hole. Uncovering the hard truth about my turn-of-the-century childhood: I had owned over 15 phones in just six short years—all before the age of 16. Now, do let me explain, because I had a parent in corporate who happened to work for a very popular mobile phone company at the time. After noticing that even the Mobile Phone Museum was missing some of the models I’ve owned, I started quickly second-guessing this nostalgic time in my life. It also made me question if a resurgence in this stylish tech is what we actually need right now. Recalling how streaming services took advantage of dedicated fans to inflate their subscription numbers during a global lockdown, the widespread hype surrounding nostalgia signals a much deeper societal craving. Mayka Castellano and Melina Meimaridis describe how nostalgia-baiting works as a lucrative marketing tactic in their essay on Netflix revivals by stating (1), “By transforming time into a returnable space, nostalgia allows individuals to relive moments from the past. It is a time management strategy in a context in which time seems increasingly elusive. In view of recent technological advances, this return has become apparently ‘viable’ and thus what began as an illness has developed into a profitable marketing resource, since ‘selling a sweet image of the past brings big bucks.’” As fun as it would be, I do not want another wave like this for trendy phones. At an average of 2 and a half phones per year, I was practically an iPad kid. Reviewing articles and old blog posts from the 2000s, people have been writing about society’s rapid dependency on these devices for a long time, as well as the environmental and foreign crises resulting from these changes. Though this proved that I was not alone in my experience, it didn’t exactly provide me with any comfort... but was nostalgia meant to be comforting?

Disclaimer: Trying to do this list in order, but I can’t remember. Therefore, I’ll be including announcement dates, and do my best to remember the order in which I owned each phone.

1. LG MigoVX1000

ANNOUNCED ca. 2005

My very first phone was the LG Migo when I was in about the 4th or 5th grade. The Migo (like the Cingular Firefly) was a cell phone that catered to children. The Tamagotchi-like device allowed 4 contact saves and an emergency button that automatically dialed 911. The phone did not have a camera, nor did it allow for text messaging, but it did come with a set of adorable puffy stickers that I vividly remember decorating my phone with. This is a phone that I do genuinely miss. Not only was it age-appropriate, but the design and name are still perfect. It also reminds me of a simpler time, when phones did what they were meant to do: make calls—without the expectations of a handheld computer.

2. LG VX6100

ANNOUNCED ca. 2005

My second phone was a hand-me-down LG VX6100. I remember this being a very sturdy flip phone (mine definitely took a beating, but held up well). The blue detailing and (optional) rainbow light that lit up when your phone rang were both nice touches. Did it drain your battery? Yes. Was it worth it? You know the vibes. This is actually one of my favorite phones. I was watching a YouTube video of all of the ringtones installed on this phone, and I could probably write an entirely new post on that alone.

3. Motorola Krzr

ANNOUNCED July 2006

Successor to the popular Razr, the Motorola Krzr was a slimmed-down version of the design that only came in Black, Blue, and Red. In hindsight, this phone felt like a late attempt to fit into a party that had already ended (both as a product release, and as a consumer buy). Still a decently cute phone though, and there are a few things that I prefer about this phone to the original Razr. First, the front glass cover on this phone is so sleek. The lack of vibrancy disappointed me at first glance, but on second thought, these deeper shades just ooze hot older sibling vibes. Releasing this design in purple and lime green was not going to work this time, and I get that now.

4. LG enV VX9900

ANNOUNCED November 2006

My LG enV was my everything... and everyone else’s, too. Literally, all of my friends and I had one of these phones (in orange or olive) tucked into the back pockets of our jeans. I can vividly remember how loud the click of this phone’s buttons were, as we furiously texted away. Sidekick users had already had their fun, but this was my first phone with a full keyboard, and you could write a saga on this thing. As far as design goes, this also goes down as my #1. The rounded edges. The orange/grey color combination (my absolute favorite from this period). The giant camera lens that makes the backside of the phone look like a 00s point-and-shoot. I’d do it all over again 100%.

5. LG VX9400

ANNOUNCED January 2007

This was a strange little phone. The screen would swivel to a horizontal layout, which became much more of a demand with more video, animation, and gaming being introduced to mobile devices (and the end of Adobe Flash looming upon us). Though mobile Internet usage wasn’t ideal at this time, it wasn’t impossible. Screens were often too small to accommodate most desktop web designs, and mobile versions of websites weren’t nearly as prioritized as they are today. The fact that this phone is kind of ugly overshadows the vision behind it, which I do like and think there’s potential in. Had they made the whole device silver or the keyboard black, to match the rest, it may have gone down in my top five.

6. LG Chocolate 2 VX8500

ANNOUNCED June 2007

I will forever think of Candyman by Christina Aguilera because of this phone’s top-notch marketing. This was truly a moment in time, and this phone is still very sexy. The slide-up was so smooth and effortless, and this phone just felt so good in the hand. Like the Krzr, it had a glass front cover with touchpad buttons, but the design allowed for more range, in both neutral and bright (marketable) colors. I loved my red LG Chocolate Spin, but that light blue is so Baby Spice. I would’ve much preferred that one today.

7. Samsung Juke

ANNOUNCED October 2007

I love going through “Ugliest Phones of the 00s” lists just to see if this one made it. I regret this phone the most. The Samsung Juke was gimmicky and ugly AF. Designed for those looking for an MP3 player first, and a phone second, the Juke was a creative design, but flawed and in no way practical. Looking at this design and considering how frequently we were going through these phones, it’s much more obvious why. Not only were we using devices as fashion statements (which cycle quickly), but they also weren’t necessarily made with everyday needs or convenience in mind. It’s a “no” from me, dawg.

8. LG Voyager VX10000

ANNOUNCED November 2007

This phone was my first touchscreen, but that’s the extent of anything good I have to say about it. The Voyager was supposed to be an updated touchscreen-version of the LG enV, but fell short majorly on coolness, resulting in a strange follow-up to a successful and creative phone. It’s also an unfortunate example that demonstrates how, even when phone companies made attempts during the 00s to reinvent and reference their beloved designs, they still managed to flop. None of what’s actually appreciated about the first phone seems to be taken to the next. Only the general shape is maintained to market it as the latest version of a phone that shares no other resemblance to. Western phone companies have long struggled with being able to come up with designs as exciting as the models we remember most. We romanticize this era, but it’s clear to me that they were scrambling. Some of these models are absurd, and (especially as we get to these later designers), I’m okay with letting sleeping dogs lie. I think any attempts that they’d release to revisit this era would just be bad interpretations of a time we should have moved on from.

9. LG Venus VX8800

ANNOUNCED November 2007

Another sorry follow-up to an exciting product (LG Chocolate 2), it’s apparent by this point that the spirit that made early and mid-00s technology so fun had begun to simmer down. With the 2010s fast approaching, people tend to forget how phones coming out at this time were often black, rectangular, and ugly. I’ve marked this era The Curse of the Black Brick (not to be confused with the brick phone of the 80s)—where the nostalgia dies out and reality sets in. By the late 00s, not only was I changing phones to satisfy a trend or novelty, but I was bored. And apparently, so were the phone companies. The only slightly innovative feature on this phone (which now comes off as silly) was its two separate touchscreens: one for the main screen and a touchpad below for the menu.

10. LG enV 2 VX91004

ANNOUNCED March 2008

For some reason, I don’t obsess over this phone the way I did when I had it, but I adored this phone at the time. Just like the first enV, all of my friends and I had one. I do wish it had come in more colors, and I also prefer the design of the first enV, but this phone was still rather sexy for a pretty basic design. That being said, it’s noticeable that what we knew as ‘the glory days’ was on its way out. Aside from keeping the horizontal flip, this phone is nowhere near the first enV in terms of color or cool factor. I remember visiting the mall kiosks to pick a charm accessory to have to dangle from your phone, but that was the extent of my fun with this model.

11. Nokia 6205 Dark Knight Edition

ANNOUNCED ca. 2008

Cray’s TikToks often cite how special edition technology today isn’t as interesting as it used to be, but this Dark Knight Edition Nokia is an example of lackluster special edition tech that came straight from the 00s. I really don’t know why I got this 2008 Dark Knight Nokia, other than remembering that I wanted a flip phone again because of the “old school novelty.” Imagine it. It was 2008, and I wanted a flip phone because I found it nostalgic. Besides the phone being ugly, the only thing that makes it a Dark Knight phone is the bat-signal engraving on the back and the Bale-era wallpapers pre-loaded onto the device. Looking back, this phone looked like a half-baked attempt to get rid of overstock for a phone that was likely being phased out. Big regret. This one’s a flop-phone.

12. Motorola Droid

ANNOUNCED October 2009

The Droid was my very first phone to use the Android operating system, as well as my first real smartphone. I miss The Droid. It was smooth and sleek, with a wide touchscreen display and a full slide-up keyboard. I remember it pretty vividly, after keeping it for longer than I had kept a lot of my other phones, and it was impressive. For my first handheld computer, this was certainly the way to go. By now, the battle between blue and green bubbles had already begun, but there was once a time when I was team Android all the way.

13. Motorola Droid X

ANNOUNCED June 2010

Nothing exciting to say here, except that this was my first full touchscreen smartphone. I was still rockin’ with Android, and I should have continued that trend. Unfortunately, curiosity got the best of me. I was aware that the novelty of trying cool phone designs was wearing off, but there were still a few stones that I couldn’t leave unturned...

14. BlackBerry Bold 9900

ANNOUNCED May 2011

I think we hold onto the feeling that BlackBerry phones gave us and assume we’re helpless without an aesthetically pleasing phone to match that hustler mindset. Having one of these did make you feel like you had it all together, but that’s just good marketing. We always saw BlackBerry phones in the hands of A-list celebrities or their frazzled assistants—associating the device with productivity and a good work ethic. How could anyone survive without their BlackBerry? It was as if their entire life was loaded onto it. As cute as the Blackberry was, I don’t think their design or operating system was any more practical than other phones from then or even today—just a device with good branding. That being said, it still goes down in my top 5.

15. iPhone 4S

ANNOUNCED October 2011

So here we are... I’m stopping here because it doesn’t get any more interesting from this point on. This is where it started and ended for me. My first iPhone—which I got to satisfy a trend—and unfortunately, I’ve never gone back. Before I start tearing the iPhone to shreds (because these phones are going out sad), I will say... At a time when phones started to become boring and developing The Curse, the iPhone was a breath of fresh air. I have wanted to go back to Android or try my hand at a Google phone, but I’ve been using iCloud for over 10 years, and I’m scared to go back at this point. It sounds pathetic putting it that way, but it’s true. Perhaps if companies were more focused on improving technology, rather than pumping out products, new phone releases would be more enjoyable.

I think the most embarrassing part about this is how oblivious I was. I boasted about how often I got new phones. It was a joke I had with friends, but now I’m horrified at the very high possibility of there being a few more models that I’ve owned and completely forgotten about. I only just remembered about five of these phones last week, giving me a harsh glimpse of just how much and how little these phones actually meant to me at the time. Societal attachment to cell phones and the Internet is so deeply embedded in our daily culture that we don’t have to think about it anymore—it’s decided for you. Xavier Carbonell, Ursula Oberst, & Marta Beranuy elaborate on this by explaining that (2) “... leisure activities and social values, high-impact, but short-lived emotions seem to be more valued than deeply felt and long-lasting sentiments. The new technologies and especially cell phones with texting are perfect channels for expressing these types of emotions... They are more addictive than deeper feelings, for the same reason that gambling is addictive: it’s quick, but not always contingent recompense.” This can be dangerous, as people will latch onto the Internet for different reasons—driven by anything from interests to insecurities. What’s interesting is when individuals who rely on the Internet to be their digital soapbox feel as though they’re being compelled to publicly pass judgment, yet are blind to all they have in common with the critiques they proudly announce (and this goes for me as well).

I think rather than sitting in bed all day, soaking in the blue light, it’s worth it to take a book from Nickelodeon’s Day of Play and step out into the sunlight every once in a while. Perhaps even putting one foot in front of the other. I tried it recently, and sometimes we forget that we’re free to do so and what a privilege it is. If you’re interested in learning ways you can be sustainable while using technology, consider buying second-hand and upgrading less frequently (this goes for fashion, phones, computers, cameras, audio, etc.). I also highly recommend doing your research on the travesties that have been inflicted on the Congo for the last 30+ years. While I’m still learning myself, I’ve collected some starting points that I’ve seen recommended by others. Adding these resources into your rotation, wherever you spend your time online, can help develop a stronger awareness and think more consciously about the technology we buy and where it comes from.

YouTube:

TikTok:

Joy | @juicebae
Pappy Orion | @pappyorion
Focus Congo | @focuscongo

Donations:

International Rescue Committee

Read Our Sources:

Castellano, M.; Meimaridis, M. (2019). “Weaponizing Nostalgia”: Netflix, Revivals and Brazilian Fans of Gilmore Girls.
Carbonell, X.; Oberst, U.; Beranuy, M. (2013). The Cell Phone in the Twenty-First Century: A Risk for Addiction or a Necessary Tool?. Principles of Addiction. 901-909. 10.1016/B978-0-12-398336-7.00091-7.